in the past few months i found myself paralyzed by grief. processing a lifetime of pain + disappointment all culminating with the closing of my business. the only place in which i have felt full agency. the last year was replete with experiences that affirmed my lack of agency in this world. in this country.
a year that further stifled breath.
i gave all that i could. and when there was nothing left, i retreated within myself. bc that is my way. i have prayed for strength + a renewed sense of purpose.
i am being honest in saying i am deeply depressed. but because i choose to practice transparency although it emboldens some within this hypercritical, destructive generation, to take up arms against human expression. i find myself disappointed by the “petty culture” we have passively sustained; i ask, where’s the line that separates sensitivity from straight-up paralysis? why have we become afraid to speak the truth of our pain, our failures, our hurts? what’s the value in “the tea” when you strip another human being of the dignity of owning their story?
i say to you, your pain is valid. you joy is valid. and yet, why isn’t mine? all of the ways life manifests and unfolds are valid. those who criticize must be encouraged to practice tenderness with themselves. and to extend it to others.
no one should be shamed for being imperfect. for being human. and ultimately, for surviving.
it is only through the community of people who have created space for me to be broken (in spirit). downtrodden for the moment. that i have found solace. to those who create space for the complexity of the human experience, thank you. #xodvf //